100% proven zodiac analyses aries:
short-tempered kind-hearted babies
stubborn knucklehead cuties who are nice to everyone
intelligent blabber-mouths w a great sense of humor
over-emotional compassionate lil cupcakes
melodramatic fun-loving fucks
creative whiny pissbabies who are intellectually stimulating
ditsy carefree pacifist qts
intensely emotional secretive bad bitches
honest philosophical travel-agents who don't give a fuck
organized self-driven sarcastic dickheads
extroverted detached open-minded freaks
sensitive lazyasses who are ideological + creatively stimulating
This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.
You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.
hahaha bro!! of course i am SWAG. homie, i am the DEFINITION of swag.
Americans pronouncing it ‘Noo-tella’ as if it were made from fucking hazelnoots.
#man you just got roasted like a hazelnoot