This is what my husband and I purchased at the grocery store the other day.
We don’t have kids.
We are adults. We pay bills.
And drink water from a whale.
Im not a bitch I am the bitch
this is 911 state your emergency
YES I NEED HELP IMMEDIATELY I CAN’T FIND MY LIZARD
911 I THINK MY LIZARD IS BROKEN
YOU THINK YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS? MY PHONE SEEMS TO HAVE LOST IT’S LEGS
911 I CAN’T GET MY PHONE OFF THE RECEIVER
MA’AM YOUR PHONE NEEDS TO BE IN THE UNLOCKED POSITION AND MAY NEED TO BE PROVIDED WITH ADDITIONAL HARDWARE TO FUNCTION CORRECTLY.
YES HELLO 911 CAN YOU HEAR ME I DROPPED MY HEADSET IN THE WATER DO YOU READ
TO BE HONEST 911, I AM NOT SURE WHAT MY PHONE IS DOING
911 MY PHONE IS FACING THE WRONG WAY AND I CAN’T GET IT TO TURN AROUND.
yes 911 hello all these people are crazy
this is still going around and it makes me rly happy.
i swear to god if i see another person saying ‘if you think obesity is bad, you’re a fat shamer!!’
obesity is a real problem that causes lots of diseases
and just because i don’t like obesity, doesn’t mean i don’t like obese people
it’s like, i hate cancer, but i don’t hate people with cancer or shame people who have cancer
why was april so tired?
it just finished a long
The difference between 2008 and 2014 is…
I just realized that “pun intended” is a pun on “unintended” and I’m literally about to gouge my eyes out I’m so angry
This. Changes. Everything.
reminder to call your pets by their proper pronouns! use petself/dogself/catself/hamsterself etc because they are not able to communicate their preferred gender and pronouns thank you this has been a psa uwu
Dear White People Official Trailer 1 (2014) - Comedy HD
all I see is black people talking about this. white people. go see this movie. you need to see this movie.
YESSss it’s finally happening!
So smart, so hilarious, and so rare to see a concept trailer make the jump from dream to reality- October 17th can’t get here fast enough. :D